Playground Etiquette

What a horrendous week...traveling is not good for every soul; especially those inflicted with Autism. Although we have been living on Planet Autism for nearly five years now, it never fails to take us by surprise the depth of distress that our son experiences from time to time.

Without fail, each time we travel, it takes him up to 72 hours to decompress (get back into the routine) upon our return home. This week...it has taken MUCH longer and it nearly broke me.

In my son's defense, there were a lot of transitions while we were away, he didn't sleep well at all and, when we returned, three of his therapy sessions were canceled and his school schedule was different (a half day on Thursday and Halloween activities throughout the week).

Halloween...a "beloved" holiday by most - I have VERY fond memories as a child of Trick-or-Treating with my best neighborhood friend in my lovingly hand sewn costumes by my Mother. I don't think the festivities or concept of it all even remotely was understandable to my son. He just delighted in being able to go on every neighbor's porch and ring every doorbell without restriction.

He had more meltdowns and defiance this week than I can recall. It was taxing on both of us as parents and we prayed fervently for relief and a better week on the horizon. He's getting so much bigger now and, physically, these episodes are getting harder to help him through. He's not even five yet and over half my height and weighs 45 lbs. What am I going to do when he's too big to pick up or, God forbid, he pushes me away and won't let me console him with deep pressure input?

Yesterday, while we were at the local mall play area, my son was happily (vocally) stimming while he played and a little girl came right up to his face and shouted "be quiet" along with a few other things. When she left his presence to go down the slide, and he followed after her, she kicked at him before going down the slide. When she bounded back up the stairs, I stopped her and firmly (but - truly - soft spoken) said to her "Excuse me, little girl, you don't have to be mean to my son...he cannot speak and does not understand."

Moments later, I saw her lamenting to her mother and she never went back on the play equipment...she gathered her shoes up - with a very sad face - and left after five minutes.

Initially, I felt justified. Today, I feel like I could have gone further and handled it "better"...coming over to explain his disorder and trying to gently educate her on tolerance/acceptance of others.

I'm torn this morning and not sure what to do with these emotions. It's not the first time I have encountered a situation like this and it's not even the meanest thing some little kid has said or done to him at a playground. He's not even 5 yet...what am I going to do as people get crueler and treat him without understanding?!?

God, I love my child but I hate Autism wholeheartedly.