No such thing as easy...

There is so much truth to the statement that you learn something new everyday and, yet, it never ceases to amaze me when it occurs in real life.

Yesterday, we tried (and failed) to have a new Internet/t.v. service installed. The Technician (Patrick) who came over was speaking with my husband and made a statement that rang a bell for me..."there is no such thing as easy, only different levels of hard".

Varying degrees of difficulty...hmmm...ABSOLUTELY. Monday was a perfect example of this. What a disaster!

One of the more distinct features of Life on Planet Autism is the strict adherence and innate natural habit of the deep seeded desire to remain in "the routine". There is some comfort in routine and, personally, I enjoy and thrive in the routine of daily life; however, as we all learn at one point or another, life rarely follows a routine.

At first, I was annoyed by the fact that our morning ABA session and Occupational Therapy appointment had been cancelled by the Therapists and then I relished the opportunity to have even more time to get some of those things done around the house which have been put on the back burner for over a month. After all, our son was pretty "fried" by the end of the week and he really could use some "down time". So, I allowed him to watch his favorite show while I went about my business around him. (He really cannot be left alone for more than 20 minutes.)

Things were going very smoothly - I had accomplished a lot - my son was very happy. We had a successful Speech Therapy appointment in the afternoon and then all **** broke loose during ABA. A couple of times the Therapist consulted us by asking if we thought we should stop the session. It was beyond clear that he was deeply distressed and uncooperative. We had her press on but, to what end - really? Thank God she has experienced worse than his behavior and did not want to quit.

Every time he has a moment like that, I question everything. How is he going to cope with all of life's curve balls? How is he going to get through issues without our being there to guide him through or "talk him down"? How are we ever going to "get used to" his (seemingly) irrational behavior? Will he ever stop screaming? Will he ever be able to speak words that express his anger and frustration so that we can understand exactly what it is that sets him off? Does he even know what really sets him off?

Although his receptive language is amazing, I'm certain he doesn't always understand how to connect the meaning or identification of a word with a word. For example, we ask him "do you love Daddy/Mommy"? He only stares off blankly or pays attention only to the occupying task/toy/food at hand. There is no doubt, however, that he does because he laughs with us, plays with us, desires to be with us and hugs us. He tries SO hard to communicate with us and uses every available method at his disposal. He has 58+ signs (American Sign Language) and PECS (Picture Exchange Communication System cards) under his belt but his Autism and Apraxia get in his way.

SIDEBAR: He has a secondary diagnosis of Global Apraxia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apraxia)

I sigh deeply...there's nothing more to be said...it is what it is...another day in the Life on Planet Autism.